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The Atlantic ·For the curious

There’s a Name for the People Who Drain You

by Olga Khazan

Published 2026-06-15 14:27:00-04:00

If a relationship takes a physical toll, why does the prospect of being alone still feel worse?

0:00 / 6:47 · Narrator Sulafat

Context

In this piece from 15 June 2026, the focus turns to a specific social friction known as the "hassler"—those unavoidable figures like roommates or relatives who drain energy and, as recent data suggests, even accelerate biological aging. While the instinct might be to retreat, the research points toward a complicated trade-off. The tension exists because the people who cause the most stress are often the same ones providing the infrastructure of a life. It suggests that perhaps some level of annoyance is simply the tax paid for not being alone.

Show notes

An examination of hasslers—the difficult relatives, coworkers, and roommates who cause chronic stress and accelerate biological aging. Recent sociological research explains why these negative social ties persist within family and professional networks—particularly for women—and details their physiological toll. These health risks are ultimately weighed against the practical and social necessity of maintaining long-term community bonds.

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