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Defector ·Smart escape

Should I Be Worried That My Kid Hasn’t Found a Best Friend?

by Justin Ellis

Published 2026-09-09 18:24:59+00:00

When a parent wants a best friend for their child, whose childhood are they trying to recreate?

0:00 / 7:28 · Narrator Rasalgethi

Context

A father writes to a parenting column worried that his nine-year-old son lacks a classic best friend. Published on 9 September 2026, the response skips the usual tips for setting up playdates and points to a quieter trap of raising children. It asks parents to notice when they project their own nostalgia onto their kids. The advice poses a gentle question about the difference between supporting a child's actual needs and trying to recreate a specific version of the past.

Show notes

An advice column addressing the anxiety parents feel when a child does not form a single, close best friendship. The response examines how adults project their own childhood memories onto their kids, confusing their past experiences with their children's current social needs. It outlines how to separate personal nostalgia from a child's actual well-being.

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