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The Atlantic ·For the curious

Taking Care of the Father Who Broke My Heart

by Jenisha Watts

Published 2026-08-02 07:00:00-04:00

How do you care for a dying father who saved his happiest moments for someone else?

0:00 / 18:20 · Narrator Sulafat

Context

Society expects grown children to eventually care for their aging parents as a natural repayment of love. But in a 2 August 2026 essay, the author asks what happens when that history of mutual care simply does not exist. For four years, she managed the nursing home bills and medical decisions for a father who abandoned her in childhood. The piece sits with the uncomfortable reality of doing the right thing for an estranged parent, and the stubborn hope for approval that survives right up to the end.

Show notes

An account of becoming the medical proxy for an estranged parent. The author recounts growing up neglected while her father raised another family across town, only to become the sole relative managing his care decades later. She details the practical work of overseeing his nursing home stay from afar, and the experience of organizing a funeral for a man she barely knew.

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